I have nothing pressing to write about, and when that's the case I have a hard time writing eloquently.
My days are currently filled with Harrison, no news there.
I chose to be a stay-at-home Mom. That is what made the most sense for me and Jeremy, and we knew before we started our family that we didn't want any outside childcare for our kids. For us, and the way we want to live our lives, starting a family meant making certain sacrifices so that I could stay home with our baby.
I stayed home exclusively with Harrison for his first five months, and every moment has been special (the difficult moments included, even as they are a different kind of special, haha.)
But we live in Los Angeles, and we have student loans, and those two factors do not make an equation that equals one-income family. So I started some occasional babysitting in Harrison's sixth month, and in months seven and eight that turned in to being out of the house with him to watch other kids every weekday. Starting in July, Harrison and I will have a full 40-hour work week together, while I look after him and a baby who happens to be the sister of a boy I nannied for 2.5 years.
My point? Well as mentioned already, eloquence isn't strong right now, but it's something about how being a stay at home parent requires sacrifices, and being a working parent requires sacrifices, and being a work at home parent requires sacrifices, and just being a parent in general requires sacrifices. There's no avoiding those sacrifices, and they look different for everyone.
If I had the option, I would dedicate all of my "work" energy just to Harrison. But I can't right now, so I'm doing the next best thing for our situation. I love being home or on adventures with just him, and it is a bit of an emotional sacrifice to be doing things differently, but I am happy that I can still be there as his primary caregiver 24 hours a day, he just happens to have some other kids to play with during some of those hours. I am also happy to be forming relationships with these other children and it is a lot of fun to see Harrison learning how to play with other kids. Working full-time with him will be different, and some days difficult, but it will be good, and I am excited about it.
I figured for a long while that once Harrison was "old enough" I'd start working outside of the home on a very part-time basis doing post-partum and birth doula work. But he's 10 months old and still doesn't feel "old enough." My parenting style keeps me with him all the time, and I am so not ready to give that up. My passion for pregnancy and birth is part of my larger passion for families and children. So while the right time will someday come for me to be a more consistent support for women in labor, I am choosing to enjoy this time in my life with the families who let me in their lives by entrusting me with their children. Harrison and I are both thankful for them!