Today Harrison is nine months old. This number, the amount of time, is so small yet so large. This "birthday," if you will, feels significant because he has now been on this side of the world for as long as he was being knit together in my womb. Today will likely be just a typical day, but it feels weighty with the transition of him experiencing life on the outside for a longer spread of time than being carried inside of me.
Yesterday a friend asked me how I feel about his first birthday approaching so quickly. Amazed is my first answer, amazed at how fast he's growing up, at everything he's capable of, at the fact that Jeremy and I are trusted to raise him up in the way he should go. But aside from constant amazement, I also have this yearning and want for what has already been- things I can't get back but wish I could, even while being excited about the future. I look back on these past nine months and even though I've been directly with him for probably 98% of his life, I feel like I've missed so much. No one is joking when they talk about the time flying by. And I reminisce and also wish, even though things have been fine and even great, that the knowledge I've gained over these past nine months had already been there when he was born, that as a newborn he could have had me at my best, or at least at my better, rather than relying on a new mom who was and still is constantly learning, constantly making mistakes, constantly getting distracted. Of course that's not how these things go, instead you learn and better yourself through the experience. For all the things I've learned, for all the things I've done well, I've failed at others. And that is being a parent, right? That's simply life, really.
I'm grateful for what raising Harrison has taught me so far, for the patience I've learned to store up, for this season of letting go, of learning to worry less and embrace more. I'm so thankful for him, for the quiet moments watching him sleep, for his belly laughs and the way his eyes smile, for the excitement he has when Jeremy gets home from work, for the voracious eater he's become, for his obvious love of animals, for our snuggles all night long, for his resilience when he is working on a new skill, for both his independence and interdependence, and for his beautiful and sometimes maddening personality trait of never ever ever giving up when he wants something.
Harrison has rocked my world and I never want my old life back. It's amazing what can happen in nine months, in eighteen months. I'm sure in nine years, eighteen years, I'll look back and say the same thing.
---
To add some lightheartedness, in the past two weeks after just small moments of distraction, I found Harrison in situations that you just can't make up. For one, he straight up ate about 3/4 of an insurance card to our new car, and separately, after noticing his increased fussiness over the span of about ten seconds, I found him with the basket of cat toys overturned, and a ping pong ball stuck in his mouth. Life would be so boring with perfect parenting!
---
Friday, February 3, 2017
Thursday, February 2, 2017
The Art of Kombucha
It's no secret that I love to brew and drink kombucha. At any given time, you can find at least two gallons brewing in my kitchen (and usually it's closer to four or five gallons). Kombucha is essentially the only beverage I drink besides water, and I love that with a little bit of work, I can have it on hand at all times, and have full say over the fermenting time and the quality of ingredients.
What is kombucha? In a nutshell, it is a fermented sweet tea. Its origins are not fully certain, but there are suggestions that it comes from Ancient China, around 220BC. Kombucha has been touted in many cultures for its health benefits; it is full of beneficial enzymes and gut-enhancing bacteria. Plain kombucha has a slightly sour and tangy taste to it, and flavoring leads to endless possibilities.
The most important part of brewing kombucha is a SCOBY. SCOBY is an acronym for "symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast." A SCOBY is, in fact, a living organism. It looks like a translucent pancake, it feels a bit like firm jello or thick fruit leather. The SCOBY grossed me out for a short while, but I got over that quickly enough and now will even eat bits of it.
I've read plenty of how-to's on brewing kombucha, and I've found too many instructions call for it to be an exact science- test the pH, use this or that water temperature, sterilize jars with vinegar only, keep it on a heating pad, etc. I'm sure there's clout to those methods, but I don't use any of them. I invoke my inner hippie and brew my kombucha with love (and the occasional measuring cup). Brewing kombucha has become an art form in my household, and in two years I've yet to have a ruined batch. The instructions that follow are very specific, but only for the sake of them being in written word. This is a good way to start, and once you are comfortable with the process, take some creative leaps and find what works best for you!
Equipment
-a 1-gallon glass jar with a plastic lid
-filtered water
-1 cup of sugar
-1 tablespoon black tea, 2 teaspoons green tea (or 3 black tea bags and 2 green tea bags, or all black tea, or all green tea ... oh, here I go, already off the beaten path)
-1-2 cups of plain kombucha (starter tea)
-1 SCOBY
-a thin dish towel or cloth napkin, and rubber band
Process
1. Make a sweet tea concentrate: pour some filtered water into a saucepan, add one cup of sugar, and bring to a boil, stirring to dissolve the sugar.
2. Turn off the heat and add tea of choice, steep for at least 10 minutes.
3. Fill the gallon jar about halfway with filtered water.
4. After the tea has steeped long enough, add it to the gallon jar, straining out the tea leaves in the process.
5. Add starter tea to the jar, then finish it off with more filtered water up to 2-3 inches below the top.
6. The tea should be at or close to room temperature at this point, so now it is safe to add the SCOBY. With clean hands, gently place it on top of the tea.
7. Cover the jar with fabric, keep it in place with a rubber band, so that the SCOBY can breathe, but nothing can get into the jar.
8. Set it out of the way and out of direct sunlight for at least five days to let the fermentation process take place. Periodically taste the kombucha every so often after that until it is the taste you desire. Some people like to let their kombucha ferment for a few weeks so that it becomes very tart and vinegary, while others will drink it just as it starts turning from sweet tea. There's no wrong or right in the equation, just find your preferred taste. However, be mindful that the less time it ferments, the more sugar is still there.
Congratulations, you have made kombucha! But now what?
Remove the SCOBY and transfer to another glass container, bathed in plain kombucha and stored at room temperature with a cloth covering it. Save another 1-2 cups of plain kombucha to use as starter tea for your next batch. After that, you have a few options:
1. Enjoy the kombucha as-is. Put it in any sort of container and store it at room temperature or in the refrigerator. Take note that whenever kombucha is stored at room temperature in an air-tight container it will continue to ferment and begin to carbonate. Be careful with the types of containers you use to store it; glass containers with square bottoms are very weak and you definitely want to avoid them. You can use juice bottles, single-serve glass jars, mason jars, grolsch bottles, etc. I prefer to use bottles that have a screw-top cap, rather than a flip-top, so that if the kombucha ends up being extra fizzy, I have some control over stopping the overflow as I am opening it. I mainly use and reuse old GT's kombucha bottles.
OR
2. Flavor the kombucha. This is fun and it's a great part of the creative process. A good rule of thumb is to use a half cup of flavoring per gallon of kombucha. I never measure anymore and usually end up using much more than a half cup, but always to delicious results, so play around with it. You can use fruit, herbs, spices, simple syrups, citrus, vegetables, juice, whatever sounds good to you. I like to use ginger in almost all of my kombucha, along with a fruit. My favorite flavors are raspberry ginger and orange ginger. I have the best luck with using coarsely chopped frozen fruit. There are books dedicated to making specific kombucha flavors, so do some googling to find inspiration!
Method: after you remove the scoby and starter tea, add whatever you are using to flavor into the remaining kombucha, and tightly cover the jar with a plastic lid. Let sit for at least two more days, and then bottle the flavored kombucha, filtering first if needed. Take note of what I mentioned above in regards to the types of bottles used. Also take note that the extra sugars from the fruits, etc, will aid in carbonation, so the pressure/gas in the bottles will increase more rapidly. As always, fermentation will halt once you move the bottles to the fridge.
A few miscellaneous but helpful and important notes:
-The SCOBY should always be at room temperature, always be in sweet tea or plain kombucha, and always be able to breathe. This is in regards to when you are fermenting and when the SCOBY is just being stored.
-If you don't have any starter tea, a bottle of GT's plain kombucha works just fine.
-Avoid using anti-bacterial soaps around the SCOBY and kombucha. The SCOBY is made of bacteria- the good kind- but anti-bacterial soap does not discriminate! Kombucha relies on bacteria to exist, so you don't want to kill it all off. Clean your kombucha jars well, but don't worry about a sterile environment, it would do more harm than good.
-If you are trying to get a nice and fizzy final product, I've had the best luck with bottling in 16oz bottles and leaving them at room temperature for a few days before drinking.
-A new baby SCOBY will form with each batch of kombucha, so after a while you can peel a layer off and brew more than one batch at a time, or share the SCOBY love!
Happy brewing!
What is kombucha? In a nutshell, it is a fermented sweet tea. Its origins are not fully certain, but there are suggestions that it comes from Ancient China, around 220BC. Kombucha has been touted in many cultures for its health benefits; it is full of beneficial enzymes and gut-enhancing bacteria. Plain kombucha has a slightly sour and tangy taste to it, and flavoring leads to endless possibilities.
The most important part of brewing kombucha is a SCOBY. SCOBY is an acronym for "symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast." A SCOBY is, in fact, a living organism. It looks like a translucent pancake, it feels a bit like firm jello or thick fruit leather. The SCOBY grossed me out for a short while, but I got over that quickly enough and now will even eat bits of it.
I've read plenty of how-to's on brewing kombucha, and I've found too many instructions call for it to be an exact science- test the pH, use this or that water temperature, sterilize jars with vinegar only, keep it on a heating pad, etc. I'm sure there's clout to those methods, but I don't use any of them. I invoke my inner hippie and brew my kombucha with love (and the occasional measuring cup). Brewing kombucha has become an art form in my household, and in two years I've yet to have a ruined batch. The instructions that follow are very specific, but only for the sake of them being in written word. This is a good way to start, and once you are comfortable with the process, take some creative leaps and find what works best for you!
Equipment
-a 1-gallon glass jar with a plastic lid
-filtered water
-1 cup of sugar
-1 tablespoon black tea, 2 teaspoons green tea (or 3 black tea bags and 2 green tea bags, or all black tea, or all green tea ... oh, here I go, already off the beaten path)
-1-2 cups of plain kombucha (starter tea)
-1 SCOBY
-a thin dish towel or cloth napkin, and rubber band
Process
1. Make a sweet tea concentrate: pour some filtered water into a saucepan, add one cup of sugar, and bring to a boil, stirring to dissolve the sugar.
2. Turn off the heat and add tea of choice, steep for at least 10 minutes.
3. Fill the gallon jar about halfway with filtered water.
4. After the tea has steeped long enough, add it to the gallon jar, straining out the tea leaves in the process.
5. Add starter tea to the jar, then finish it off with more filtered water up to 2-3 inches below the top.
6. The tea should be at or close to room temperature at this point, so now it is safe to add the SCOBY. With clean hands, gently place it on top of the tea.
7. Cover the jar with fabric, keep it in place with a rubber band, so that the SCOBY can breathe, but nothing can get into the jar.
8. Set it out of the way and out of direct sunlight for at least five days to let the fermentation process take place. Periodically taste the kombucha every so often after that until it is the taste you desire. Some people like to let their kombucha ferment for a few weeks so that it becomes very tart and vinegary, while others will drink it just as it starts turning from sweet tea. There's no wrong or right in the equation, just find your preferred taste. However, be mindful that the less time it ferments, the more sugar is still there.
Congratulations, you have made kombucha! But now what?
Remove the SCOBY and transfer to another glass container, bathed in plain kombucha and stored at room temperature with a cloth covering it. Save another 1-2 cups of plain kombucha to use as starter tea for your next batch. After that, you have a few options:
1. Enjoy the kombucha as-is. Put it in any sort of container and store it at room temperature or in the refrigerator. Take note that whenever kombucha is stored at room temperature in an air-tight container it will continue to ferment and begin to carbonate. Be careful with the types of containers you use to store it; glass containers with square bottoms are very weak and you definitely want to avoid them. You can use juice bottles, single-serve glass jars, mason jars, grolsch bottles, etc. I prefer to use bottles that have a screw-top cap, rather than a flip-top, so that if the kombucha ends up being extra fizzy, I have some control over stopping the overflow as I am opening it. I mainly use and reuse old GT's kombucha bottles.
OR
2. Flavor the kombucha. This is fun and it's a great part of the creative process. A good rule of thumb is to use a half cup of flavoring per gallon of kombucha. I never measure anymore and usually end up using much more than a half cup, but always to delicious results, so play around with it. You can use fruit, herbs, spices, simple syrups, citrus, vegetables, juice, whatever sounds good to you. I like to use ginger in almost all of my kombucha, along with a fruit. My favorite flavors are raspberry ginger and orange ginger. I have the best luck with using coarsely chopped frozen fruit. There are books dedicated to making specific kombucha flavors, so do some googling to find inspiration!
Method: after you remove the scoby and starter tea, add whatever you are using to flavor into the remaining kombucha, and tightly cover the jar with a plastic lid. Let sit for at least two more days, and then bottle the flavored kombucha, filtering first if needed. Take note of what I mentioned above in regards to the types of bottles used. Also take note that the extra sugars from the fruits, etc, will aid in carbonation, so the pressure/gas in the bottles will increase more rapidly. As always, fermentation will halt once you move the bottles to the fridge.
A few miscellaneous but helpful and important notes:
-The SCOBY should always be at room temperature, always be in sweet tea or plain kombucha, and always be able to breathe. This is in regards to when you are fermenting and when the SCOBY is just being stored.
-If you don't have any starter tea, a bottle of GT's plain kombucha works just fine.
-Avoid using anti-bacterial soaps around the SCOBY and kombucha. The SCOBY is made of bacteria- the good kind- but anti-bacterial soap does not discriminate! Kombucha relies on bacteria to exist, so you don't want to kill it all off. Clean your kombucha jars well, but don't worry about a sterile environment, it would do more harm than good.
-If you are trying to get a nice and fizzy final product, I've had the best luck with bottling in 16oz bottles and leaving them at room temperature for a few days before drinking.
-A new baby SCOBY will form with each batch of kombucha, so after a while you can peel a layer off and brew more than one batch at a time, or share the SCOBY love!
Happy brewing!
Saturday, January 21, 2017
New Old Car
We bought a new car yesterday.
The word "new" is a funny one. In this context, "new" means a car that is 17 years old.
Welcome to the family, little white 2000 Toyota Corolla, we're so glad you're here! You represent a lot of our hopes for the future of our family, and driving you day-to-day will be a constant reminder to press on towards those hopes, working our hardest every step of the way.
---
In the months leading up to me being pregnant, we started to look for a new car to replace the troublesome Ford Fiesta that I started my Los Angeles journey with. With stars in our eyes, we set our hearts on a 2012 Honda Accord SE (leather seats!) and with the help of a car-buying specialist from our credit union, we waited patiently for a few months until the right car was found at auction, purchased, and financed- just a few weeks after we found out about our pregnancy, and at the same time that I found out my full-time nannying job was ending earlier than I had anticipated.
Maybe once in those months of waiting, the idea of buying a car with solely our hard saved down-payment cash was mentioned, but I quickly brushed it off, so it was forgotten about.
But really- pregnant, 1.3ish incomes, going down to one income once baby arrived, student loans, etc ... what business did we have adding to our debt and monthly bills? Those leather seats though ...
Our trusty new Honda was everything we had hoped for, though, and for a season, it was a wonderful car. It was the car that helped me realize my fear of freeway driving wasn't of the freeway itself, it was rather a fear of how unsafe I felt on the freeway in the little Fiesta. It got me to and from a short-term job 27 miles away. It's gotten Jeremy to countless auditions all over Los Angeles. It had heated seats, so my bum was always warm, even in the summer when I drove with the windows down on brisk mornings. It felt like the first "grown up" car I could call mine (my others, aside from the lime green Fiesta, were pickup trucks- a GMC Sonoma, and a greatly missed Ford Ranger.) It is the car that Harrison rode home in the day after he was born, while we listened to The Talking Heads sing "This Must Be the Place." It has held many nursing sessions and diaper changes. Harrison even left his mark during one diaper change (you're welcome to anyone who has sat in the driver's side back seat.)
And now yesterday, the back of that Honda is where I sat all morning- while it was pouring down rain typically unknown to LA, trying to keep an active 8.5-month-old entertained with two books, one toy, and all the energy and excited voices I could muster- while Jeremy took care of getting our new/old car inspected, talking with the mechanic, negotiating with the seller, signing paperwork, and handing over hard-earned cash that signified ownership, rather than a car payment.
This car is to be our daily driver, replacing the Honda in our one-car family. It has more miles on it than any vehicle that's been in my name. It needs new front tires immediately, and there is a medium-sized list of work to be done on it that we'll be spreading out over this next year.
Even with its obvious qualms, I already like this car more than the Honda. A sense of ownership has a lot more healthy weight than warranties and a small payment every month. I already feel myself caring about this car more than others in the past- partly due to maturity, sure- but mostly due to this ownership I feel, and the collective effort that has gone into getting it and the effort that will continue to be put in to it.
This car means freedom from a car payment each month, which means more ease in taking care of day-to-day expenses, which means being able to once again focus on those darn student loans. This little Corolla will be the first car that Harrison has memories of, and I want him to know that we purchased it to better his life- not in the sense of it freeing up money to spend on him, but rather for him to see it as an example of how hard work, determination, sacrifices, and careful spending (and fruitful giving) can move you forward to live your best life.
Maybe that's a lot of stock to put into such a little old car, but the stars are back in my eyes each time I look at it, and those stars are pressing me now to work harder than ever.
The word "new" is a funny one. In this context, "new" means a car that is 17 years old.
Welcome to the family, little white 2000 Toyota Corolla, we're so glad you're here! You represent a lot of our hopes for the future of our family, and driving you day-to-day will be a constant reminder to press on towards those hopes, working our hardest every step of the way.
---
In the months leading up to me being pregnant, we started to look for a new car to replace the troublesome Ford Fiesta that I started my Los Angeles journey with. With stars in our eyes, we set our hearts on a 2012 Honda Accord SE (leather seats!) and with the help of a car-buying specialist from our credit union, we waited patiently for a few months until the right car was found at auction, purchased, and financed- just a few weeks after we found out about our pregnancy, and at the same time that I found out my full-time nannying job was ending earlier than I had anticipated.
Maybe once in those months of waiting, the idea of buying a car with solely our hard saved down-payment cash was mentioned, but I quickly brushed it off, so it was forgotten about.
But really- pregnant, 1.3ish incomes, going down to one income once baby arrived, student loans, etc ... what business did we have adding to our debt and monthly bills? Those leather seats though ...
Our trusty new Honda was everything we had hoped for, though, and for a season, it was a wonderful car. It was the car that helped me realize my fear of freeway driving wasn't of the freeway itself, it was rather a fear of how unsafe I felt on the freeway in the little Fiesta. It got me to and from a short-term job 27 miles away. It's gotten Jeremy to countless auditions all over Los Angeles. It had heated seats, so my bum was always warm, even in the summer when I drove with the windows down on brisk mornings. It felt like the first "grown up" car I could call mine (my others, aside from the lime green Fiesta, were pickup trucks- a GMC Sonoma, and a greatly missed Ford Ranger.) It is the car that Harrison rode home in the day after he was born, while we listened to The Talking Heads sing "This Must Be the Place." It has held many nursing sessions and diaper changes. Harrison even left his mark during one diaper change (you're welcome to anyone who has sat in the driver's side back seat.)
And now yesterday, the back of that Honda is where I sat all morning- while it was pouring down rain typically unknown to LA, trying to keep an active 8.5-month-old entertained with two books, one toy, and all the energy and excited voices I could muster- while Jeremy took care of getting our new/old car inspected, talking with the mechanic, negotiating with the seller, signing paperwork, and handing over hard-earned cash that signified ownership, rather than a car payment.
This car is to be our daily driver, replacing the Honda in our one-car family. It has more miles on it than any vehicle that's been in my name. It needs new front tires immediately, and there is a medium-sized list of work to be done on it that we'll be spreading out over this next year.
Even with its obvious qualms, I already like this car more than the Honda. A sense of ownership has a lot more healthy weight than warranties and a small payment every month. I already feel myself caring about this car more than others in the past- partly due to maturity, sure- but mostly due to this ownership I feel, and the collective effort that has gone into getting it and the effort that will continue to be put in to it.
This car means freedom from a car payment each month, which means more ease in taking care of day-to-day expenses, which means being able to once again focus on those darn student loans. This little Corolla will be the first car that Harrison has memories of, and I want him to know that we purchased it to better his life- not in the sense of it freeing up money to spend on him, but rather for him to see it as an example of how hard work, determination, sacrifices, and careful spending (and fruitful giving) can move you forward to live your best life.
Maybe that's a lot of stock to put into such a little old car, but the stars are back in my eyes each time I look at it, and those stars are pressing me now to work harder than ever.
Friday, January 13, 2017
sick day haikus
still in pajamas
unkempt hair, sleeping baby
snot on my shoulder
---
we lay on the couch
guard cat prowls, finds his subjects,
sleeps all afternoon
---
coughing, sneezes, cries
a steam bath when he wakes up?
feel his forehead: warm
---
baby will not nurse
his comfort is rest today
breast pump helps mama
---
cancelled plans, missed friends
staying home all day and night
feels like missing out
---
no time for self-care
peanut butter and jelly
this is sustenance
---
healing: lithy tree,
European hornbeam helps,
silver, ear drops, rest
---
love you baby boy
time will help, you'll feel better
mama's here for you
unkempt hair, sleeping baby
snot on my shoulder
---
we lay on the couch
guard cat prowls, finds his subjects,
sleeps all afternoon
---
coughing, sneezes, cries
a steam bath when he wakes up?
feel his forehead: warm
---
baby will not nurse
his comfort is rest today
breast pump helps mama
---
cancelled plans, missed friends
staying home all day and night
feels like missing out
---
no time for self-care
peanut butter and jelly
this is sustenance
---
healing: lithy tree,
European hornbeam helps,
silver, ear drops, rest
---
love you baby boy
time will help, you'll feel better
mama's here for you
Friday, January 6, 2017
Where We Are
My hope for this year is to write one blog post per week. I enjoy writing and I miss having a purpose to do so. I've been having trouble deciding how to start out this year of blog posts. I was considering writing a year in review of 2016, and then realized I hardly remember anything that happened before May. Harrison was born on May 3rd, and life was forever changed, in the best way.
2016 was the year of Harrison. 2017 will be too. Taking care of him has been so easy. Truly, I mean it. He is very laid back and takes whatever comes, happily. At eight months in, I've yet to experience the sleep deprivation I was expecting (thanks due in large part to bed-sharing, I'm sure another post will be devoted to that). He nurses like a champ and we have been able to have the nursing relationship I had hoped for during pregnancy. Easy, easy baby. BUT, what of the changes in life that happen when you introduce a brand new baby into it? Not so easy. Hard, actually, with some moments that seem near impossible.
This new year has truthfully already been a bit rough. A brand new year does not stop the uncertainties of the previous year, and so many of our little family's uncertainties came to a head this week. We're wading through decision-making, job-searching, working second jobs (Jeremy), looking to replace our car, trying to ward off sickness (and failing), a hospital visit for Harrison (everything is fine now), and our normal day-to-day events on top of it all. That is simply life, and none of it gets erased on January 1st. This year, we will champion the hard days along with the easy days, and we will find the good in everything.
2016 was the year of Harrison. 2017 will be too. Taking care of him has been so easy. Truly, I mean it. He is very laid back and takes whatever comes, happily. At eight months in, I've yet to experience the sleep deprivation I was expecting (thanks due in large part to bed-sharing, I'm sure another post will be devoted to that). He nurses like a champ and we have been able to have the nursing relationship I had hoped for during pregnancy. Easy, easy baby. BUT, what of the changes in life that happen when you introduce a brand new baby into it? Not so easy. Hard, actually, with some moments that seem near impossible.
This new year has truthfully already been a bit rough. A brand new year does not stop the uncertainties of the previous year, and so many of our little family's uncertainties came to a head this week. We're wading through decision-making, job-searching, working second jobs (Jeremy), looking to replace our car, trying to ward off sickness (and failing), a hospital visit for Harrison (everything is fine now), and our normal day-to-day events on top of it all. That is simply life, and none of it gets erased on January 1st. This year, we will champion the hard days along with the easy days, and we will find the good in everything.
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