PSA: Instant Pot (you should get one)

One afternoon in May, Jer came home from work with a large Amazon package in his arms. 

This was not too long after we had a conversation in which I lamented to him that I was tired of using my play money on household gadgets that I wanted, or asking for kitchen supplies for my birthday, or using Christmas as an excuse to upgrade our apartment furniture. I wanted to be gifted things that had a bit more frivolity, but I was torn because I still wanted these household items that we were getting along fine without. Where do these pseudo-necessities fit in a budget that is based around paying off tens of thousands of dollars of student loans? It was a conundrum and I was annoyed about it.

Leave it to Jeremy to hear my conundrum complaining and take selfless action. He came home with an Instant Pot that day, purchased with his meager play money budget.

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So, our crockpot, which I had taken from my parent's house years before where it had been well used and well loved, finally died last January. And for six months, I debated how I wanted to replace it. Which means for six months we didn't have a crockpot, and we were fine without it, and so little by little I stopped trying to figure out how to replace it. But not before I learned about the Instant Pot and became intrigued. I had never used a pressure cooker before, but I liked the idea that by getting an Instant Pot I could use it on the slow cooker setting to replace the broken crockpot, AND I had a whole new set of cooking possibilities at the same time. But the idea of spending the money on it brought forth the conundrum outlined above. So of course I was ecstatic when Jer brought me home this new kitchen toy, not for my birthday or Christmas, and not because I specifically asked for it, but "just because." I didn't realize at the time, but bringing that Instant Pot home opened up a brand new realm of seemingly endless possibilities of meals to cook and delicious food to eat, all with simple ease.

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Having never used a pressure cooker before, and having never even seen one used, there was a small learning curve to get through initially, along with getting over my uncertainty about "Am I doing this right?" I started with cooking chickpeas, and accidentally blocked up the venting valve by manually releasing the pressure. And I only know I did that thanks to hindsight. After two months of cooking only chickpeas and whole chickens, and starting to become confident in at least those two foods, I started to branch out to new foods and full recipes. When I mealplanned, I tried to include one new Instant Pot recipe each week. Using it more frequently and for new recipes allowed me to gain more confidence, and I have recently surpassed the learning curve enough that I have started to cook food in the IP without following exact recipes.

I love that with the Instant Pot I can sauté vegetables in it before dumping in everything else. I love that I can cook dried beans without having them on the stovetop for three hours, and I can avoid simmering bone broth for 24 hours. My favorite lentil soup takes less than an hour start to finish, and it tastes like it's been on the stove half the day. Los Angeles summers are long and we don't have air conditioning, so leaving the oven off is quite the benefit. I can buy a whole frozen chicken and have it on the table in about one and a half hours, so tender and juicy. I can make hardboiled eggs that come out exactly how I want them to every single time, and they are ridiculously easy to peel. Active cooking time for me has been drastically cut down; once I've chopped veggies or seasoned chicken or rinsed beans and pressed a few buttons on the IP, I'm free to leave it alone until it tells me the food is done, just in time for dinner after a few dance parties with Jeremy and Harrison. I'm still in the early stages of using the Instant Pot to its full potential, but its helpfulness already cannot be understated.

Of course, of course, of course I still love to cook on the stovetop, tasting as I go, adjusting this or that, letting the smell waft through our apartment, or roast vegetables in the oven, watching them get slightly charred with the perfect tenderness on the inside, and I will never let my new kitchen toy take the place of some of that. But having the Instant Pot in my arsenal of kitchen tools has only added to my joyful cooking experience.

Black Friday is coming up, and you only need one thing on your list. Do yourself a favor and use that day to buy the Instant Pot at the lowest mark-down price it reaches all year. Do it!

(We have the 6 quart 7-in-1 IP and it has served our purposes well. It is not the newest model available, but I have found that we don't need any more than what this one does.)

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Some of my favorite tried and true ways to use the Instant Pot

-Soak one pound of dried beans overnight, rinse, cover with fresh water. Cook on high pressure and let the pressure release naturally before opening. 8 minute cooking time for black beans, 12 minutes for garbanzo beans. Additionally, I will often add chopped onion and garlic, with tomato paste and chili powder and cumin to the black beans, covering them with only just enough water before cooking. After cooking I take off the lid and use the sauté function to cook off a bit more water and use the seasoned beans for tacos and the like.

-Wash a spaghetti squash, cut it in half crosswise, scoop out the seeds. Put one cup of water in the IP, put the steamer insert in, and put the spaghetti squash halves on top. Cook on high pressure for 7 minutes, then manually release the pressure and open. Once the squash is cool enough you can scoop out the flesh and use however you'd like.

-Rinse one cup of white rice and put it in the pot with 1 1/4 cups of water, a swirl of oil, and some salt. Cook on high pressure for three minutes. Let the pressure release naturally for 7 minutes, then manually release the rest of the pressure before opening. Brown rice takes a bit longer.

-Put one cup of water and the steamer insert in the pot. Place seven or eight eggs on the insert, cook on high pressure for 4 minutes. Immediately release the pressure manually, open the pot and carefully put the eggs in ice cold water and into the fridge. Drain the water when the eggs have cooled off. Eat whenever! The yolks are still slightly soft, adjust the cooking time for your preference.

-Put oil, chopped onion, and chopped celery in the pot. Sauté until translucent, adding salt, cumin, chili powder, and smoked paprika to taste, add chopped garlic towards the end. Add chopped carrots, 28oz of diced tomatoes, 1 cup of dried lentils (rinsed), and chopped sweet potato. Fill with stock or water up to the 7 or 8 cup line. Cook on high pressure for 20 minutes and let the pressure release naturally for a little while before you manually release the rest of it. Adding chopped greens or cooked rice after it's done is also delicious. I'm sure you could add uncooked rice before closing the pot, I just don't know how much. Eat this soup with goat cheese, it's the best!

-Take some onion, celery, and carrot scraps and put them in the bottom of the pot, parsley too if you have any. Add one cup of water and the steamer insert. Put a whole chicken on the insert and rub on some salt, black pepper, and whatever other seasonings you'd like. Add a few whole garlic cloves on top of or inside the chicken. Cook on high pressure- about 25 minutes for a fresh chicken and 50 minutes for frozen. Let the pressure release naturally to seal in the moisture. Use a meat thermometer and properly check the internal temperature of the chicken, cooking times obvioulsy vary with the size of the chicken. Leave the liquid and veggies and drippings in the pot for making broth, as outlined below.

-Carve the above chicken, and put whatever you would have thrown into the trash back into the pot with the cooking liquid and vegetables. (Take out the steamer insert.) All the bones, cartilage, whatever you consider inedible can all go back in. You can add chicken necks, gizzards, feet, racks if you have them on hand (things I never expected I'd be storing in my freezer, but here I am today.) Add a swirl or two of raw apple cider vinegar. Throw in more salt, parsley, and/or garlic cloves to preference. Fill with water to between 8-10 cups. Cook on high pressure for 3-4 hours, then allow the pressure to release naturally. Strain the broth out and store in the fridge or freezer. This usually yields me about 3 quarts of broth, I store in mason jars and initially freeze 2 quarts, taking them out as needed.

-This butter chicken is delicious. I halve the butter (not because I'm afraid of butter, it just feels excessive) and use all the sauce with my meal rather than saving half as suggested.

-I LOVE this Dal so much. I use green lentils and have never soaked them as the recipe suggests, and it always turns out delicious (with a bit more salt to my taste.) I think the ghee is of utmost importance in this recipe.

-This recipe for quinoa burrito bowls has always turned out great, especially when topping it with cheese, salsa, and the like and eating with my favorite tortilla chips. 

-I love this Moroccan sweet potato lentil stew. I use green lentils.

-And when I'm feeling indulgent and spontaneous and want to use refined sugar for something more than brewing kombucha, this recipe is totally on my radar and someday I will try it.

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Happy Instant Potting!

A Time for Dancing

I have been partaking in a lot of dance parties lately: I turn up the music in the apartment, or at work, or in the car ... and Harrison and I dance our socks off together. Jeremy joins in when he’s around, or he is the instigator in the first place, and the space we are in is immediately filled with shared laughter and pure joy.

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Here’s the deal- I used to be so hesitant to move around in any way that signified “trying to dance.” I am so not coordinated enough in my own body to make movement that looks like any commercial or creative form of beauty. Dances in middle school and high school were extra awkward because I literally didn’t know what to do. Weddings found me standing on the sidelines until coerced to join the party or until there was enough bubbly flowing. I didn’t have the confidence in me to put myself out there and find freedom in my movement. 

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I married a man who can DANCE. Seriously you guys, if you haven’t seen Jer on the dance floor, you are missing out on something amazing. I’ve always admired his ability to just get out there and do it, it’s something that drew me to him in our early years. He’s creative, he’s coordinated, he has control over his body in ways I don’t understand, and he has so much fun doing it. For a long while, that made me feel even more self-conscious about my “dancing.” We were not quite compatible in that department. I do have my “moves,” and those who know me well can attest to them. I’ve taken Liz Lemon’s Microwave and made it my own, my Cup Dance is pretty great, and if you’re one of a lucky few, you’ve seen my Timberdoodle (reference here and here and here, for starters).

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I’ve been in childcare for so many years. I volunteered at a foster home in China, I worked at a day care, I’ve done nursery and preschool in church, I’ve been babysitting for as long as I remember, and I’ve held a slew of full-time nannying jobs, including the one I have right now. And now of course I am a mother as well to my sweet, wild, uninhibited little Kozling. So I’ve actually been instigating dance parties for years and years ... in the comfort of my home or others, with no other adults around, letting myself be uninhibited alongside the toddlers I’m watching. They have so much freedom in their movement. So much un-coordination as well. Enough to make me feel okay about myself, hah. They’ll flail around and fall on the floor or run in to each other and just keep moving, just keep dancing. Joyously, fearlessly. And so I do the same with them. 

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I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and there was dancing at the reception. I surprised both myself and my husband by confidently striding straight to the dance floor and letting loose without a second thought. None of my signature moves- as they come out when I’m feeling awkward and need something to laugh at- but rather just simple freedom in movement, and joy in the moment. And it was so much fun you guys.

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The other day at work I was having a moment that was some combination of boring and stressful. When you’re in someone else’s home for 9.5 hours a day with two kids under two and a dog who you love but are at odds with, there are days when those moments can be frequent. I took a second in that moment to connect my phone to a speaker and turn on some music. Harrison’s eyes lit up and he started bobbing up and down to the beat. The baby started laughing while she watched Harrison dance. I picked her up and the three of us spun around the living room, uninhibited as could be, smiling and giggling and feeling perfectly free. The stress and boredom disappeared in that instant and I felt so full of happiness, elation even. 

And it is with that happiness, that elation, that freedom, that I care no longer about my uncoordinated dance moves. They bring me to a mind space that feels good ... so watch out world- I'm here and I’m going to keep on dancing!

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Some of my and Harrison’s current favorite songs to dance to are Macklemore’s Glorious and Can’t Hold Us, Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes featuring Adam Levine, and Nate Ruess’s Nothing Without Love. We also dance to our fair share of The Beatles, since Harrison’s name wasn’t inspired by just anyone.

Parenting Gently

Harrison is teething and overtired and decides to bite me.
1. “Oww! No biting!”
2. “Are your gums bothering you? I can’t let you bite Mama, but here is something you can bite.” (Teething necklace, toy, etc.)

Harrison is very excited and starts throwing his toys everywhere, with full force.
1. “Do not throw your toys. No throwing.”
2. “Wow, look how excited you are! These toys are not for throwing, but here is a ball you can throw.”

Harrison climbs on the table and I don’t want him there for safety reasons.
1. “Get off the table. No climbing.”
2. “Harrison you are getting so good at climbing. I’m going to take you off the table so you can climb this step stool.” (While closely watching him, of course.)

Harrison won’t follow my lead to go inside because he is having too much fun outside.
1. Pick Harrison up and bring him inside while he protests and tries to get out of my arms.
2. “You’re having a lot of fun out here. You don’t want to go inside. It’s hard to go inside when you want to stay outside. We need to go inside now. Will you walk inside by yourself, or should I carry you?”

Harrison grabs a toy from another child.
1. “No, you can’t have that, you need to share,” and grab it back out of his hands.
2. Observe; see if anyone is actually affected by what just took place. Tell them what is going on- “You took the toy from ___. ____ wanted the toy and now he is upset.” Let them work it out without interference as long as they don’t physically hurt each other.

Harrison is having a hard time with a diaper change and I cannot take care of it without forcing him down.
1. Physically restrain him and get the diaper on as quickly as possible.
2. “You are being squirmy. You don’t want your diaper changed right now. Let’s wait a few minutes until you are ready.”

Harrison falls down and starts to cry.
1. “You’re ok.”
2. “You fell down. That scared you. Did it hurt? It’s okay to cry.”

Harrison falls on the floor in a crying, yelling, flailing tantrum.
1. “Oh Harrison, you’re okay. I’ll be in the other room (ignoring you) until you calm down.”
2. “Those are some big feelings you’re expressing. You’re upset because _____. I’ll sit here with you and help you with your feelings.”

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Some typical day-to-day experiences with a toddler. The first set of responses is what most of us, myself included, have learned from our parents, their parents, and their parents, etc. They are what Jeremy and I have been working hard to unlearn over these past seventeen months.

The second set of responses is how Jeremy and I are trying to parent Harrison. To give him the opportunity to realize his feelings and experience them. To teach him that if he says “no,” there is merit to that word. To allow him the opportunity to explore his world without shame. Clearly there is also no room for physical discipline or for any sort of cry-it-out method here. (A can of worms that perhaps I’ll write my thoughts on another time.)

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I first learned about gentle parenting through Mayim Bialik’s book “Beyond the Sling.” In this phenomenal book she has a chapter on gentle parenting. I read it in the early months of parenting newborn Harrison and it was hard for me to understand at first, but I was very drawn toward it. It is so different than anything I knew of parenting, but it made so much sense. I didn’t want to stifle Harrison in his emotional growth, and authoritative parenting felt like just that.

I did some research and found Janet Lansbury, and have never looked back.

I’m still unlearning and learning, and will be forever I’m sure. There is a line between gentle parenting and permissive parenting and I am still learning where it is. I have my good days and the days that are so difficult. Gentle parenting takes so much patience. Parenting takes so much patience. Sometimes the idea of just saying NO and removing Harrison completely from whatever he is doing in one quick motion feels so much easier. And when I feel that way, I take a deep breath and consider who it is easier for. And then I move forward gently. Or I forget to take that deep breath and the end result startles Harrison to the core and I spend the next ten minutes emotionally undoing my ungentle knee-jerk reaction.

Daily I see Harrison responding positively to the application of gentle parenting. Events that have the potential to become battles and meltdowns often fizzle out after he’s had a moment to process with me or Jer. He gets his crazy toddler energy out without hurting himself or things around him.

There is worlds more than this simple blog post, but I’m going to leave it at this for now. As I learn more and become more passionate about raising our children gently, perhaps I’ll have more words to share. Until then, Janet Lansbury’s Facebook page is a fantastic place to start if you’re curious to read more.

I think that now more than ever we need to be giving our children the tools to process through their emotions rather than shut them down, to deal with conflict healthily instead of expecting it to magically disappear, and to be absolutely certain that if they say “no,” they should expect to be listened to.

These Days

These days have been full of highs and lows. A stomach bug that’s just enough to be bothersome and downright painful at times but not enough to justify time off of work or real life. A night out with Jer while Harrison was with a babysitter, for the first time in almost a year. A scar on Harrison’s cheek turns in to a deep dimple every time he smiles and while dimples are cute, it makes me sad and perhaps is contributing to my stomach unease. A potential client for my nonexistent doula business; if she goes in to labor and the stars align with my schedule I can assist her through her hopeful natural twin birth. My Instant Pot being used almost daily, the answer to hardboiled eggs with easy-to-peel shells, eating meat again for the first time in a while, Dal on repeat, cooking beans in the summertime without turning on the stove. Figuring out travel plans and budgeting for wedding after wedding, so many people dear to my heart who have found their person. Walking for miles and miles around Culver City every day, passing the time while watching two children and a dog. Finding friends to spend time with and being active in making sure I actually have friends, feeling lonely in the process. Feeling homesick, especially when my search for a babysitter comes up empty-handed time and time again, knowing that any member of my family would jump at a chance to watch Harrison, wishing he was growing up with a relationship with them. Learning to identify my feelings and lean in to them and accepting that my small feelings are just as valid as my large feelings. Noticing the ties between labeling my emotions and giving Harrison the space and tools to allow him to learn how to identify his. Giddy over this new book I bought, written by a late Doctor who speaks my language. Drinking more water because I love my new water bottle that Jer gifted me. The flip flops I wore at my wedding broke on Thursday night; I haven’t tossed them yet but I’m thankful for the joy they’ve brought me all these years. Finally finding shoes that fit Harrison-two pairs!- thanks to hand-me-downs from a friend, and the shoes that took three weeks to arrive from China. Enjoying watching my kitties enjoy their new cat tree- a birthday present from my Mom that just keeps on giving. Laughing and frustrated that none of the cats seem to enjoy the exact same wet food, happy that we have room in the budget for said food. Letting go of making allll the things from scratch and giving myself more time to relax. I could buy a pound of good butter and make ghee, or I can buy ghee for just a few dollars more and an hour saved. I still don’t have much downtime, but it’s a step in the right direction. Keeping an eye out for the sports promo Harrison booked and shot back in July, now that it is football season. Maybe telling key people more details so they can help me keep an eye out too. Doing all things digital primarily on my phone as all of our electronics have slowly died, wondering if I can justify making this purchase. Or this one? Pining for the real outdoors, as Harrison explores the concrete jungle outside our apartment, skinning his knees on dirty sidewalks and breathing in the smog. Being surprised by our neighbors with an extremely out of character kind gesture, and rolling my eyes as they’ve gone straight back to the character that I’ve learned of them over the past 3.5 years. Bracing myself for extreme summer weather in October, instead of letting it surprise me like every other year. Wearing my harem pants to bed and then to work the next day, because they are comfy, and because I can. Letting Harrison play with my phone on occasion, on airplane mode, listening to music. Letting him purposefully watch his first video. Playing more violin lately and enjoying it, intending to re-learn the song I let Harrison watch. Taking all the good with all the mundane and difficult, and trying to appreciate the learning that life is offering me right now.

Harrison's Shoes

Harrison has only one pair of shoes that he's actively worn since learning how to walk. We bought them from a vendor on the side of the street at a fun neighborhood event called CicLaVia. Harrison was >thisclose< to walking independently and we decided we Needed these shoes because they were made by a work at home mom and are/were adorable soft-soled leather moccasins with a fun pattern sewn in cotton on the top.

He tore through the cotton upper in no time, since he was still crawling a lot, but Jer sewed it back together and the shoes remained functional and still cute, just a bit weathered.

We went to the park a few months ago and he played hard in the sand at a water table and the shoes became so dirty and wet and unrecognizable that I left them in the car for a few days, annoyed that we had let that happen. Then I cleaned them off the best I could and Harrison continued to wear them- dirty and weathered but they were still shoes.

Sometime between then and now, Harrison has proven to be a lover of shoes.  One of his craziest melt-downs to date was brought to surface when my one pair of high heels wouldn't stay on his feet. He constantly puts his feet in my shoes, Jer's shoes, friend's shoes. He gets very, very excited when I tell him it's time to put his shoes on. I started to feel bad that his one pair was becoming so battered, but I suppose all the same it did show how much they were loved.

Over the past few weeks his toes have been wearing holes through the front and this week the shoes could barely be called functional. I reached out to people who think similarly to me and found a few brands of soft-soled shoes that had good reviews, and finally ordered Harrison's second pair of shoes on Sunday.

Then on Wednesday I realized he needed new shoes sooner than the two week(?!) shipping on the pair of my choice. So I Amazon-Primed a different pair, figuring that the variety would be good anyway, and eagerly awaited Friday- new shoes day.

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It's been a weird week. Harrison has been slightly sick with a cough and mild fever, and on top of that an event on Tuesday led him to receive a puncture wound to his cheek. I've been at odds with myself, and with the cause and the damage all week. An endless trail of thoughts all leading to wishing I would have/could have prevented it. Reliving the moments it happened every time I look at him. Stressing about his environment so that it won't happen again or something worse.

I'm taking care of the wound with alternative medicine, while keeping an active eye on it and second guessing myself every step of the way. I broke down and used some Neosporin last night, more an act of fear than anything else. He can't tell me how he's truly feeling and I'm over-analyzing every move he's making. It's looking better than it was, but he's my baby and it's a puncture wound. And so the doubting cycle continues and continues.

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Work yesterday was low key and enjoyable. The kids napped at separate times, which would normally frustrate me because it means I don't get a break, but I allowed myself the room to enjoy one-on-one time with each of them- and it truly was enjoyable.

In the early afternoon I told Harrison we were going for a walk. "Go get your shoes," I told him, "Bring them over here and I will put them in your feet." And off went my 16-month-old, searching for his worn-out shoes, finding them, bringing them over to me, and patiently allowing me to put them on his feet. His level of comprehension astounds me most days; it's so crazy how quickly they learn and understand.

I strapped the baby in the carrier, and had Griffey on his leash to the left of me and held Harrison's hand in my right hand, and we went on what I figured was our last walk with Harrison's fallen-apart shoes. And it was the sweetest walk. He actually held my hand for a good 15 minutes, and we easily lazed our way down the road, pointing at whatever looked exciting, passing the time just existing all together. We ended up in front of a house with wind-chimes, and Harrison stood there enthralled for a good ten minutes, listening for the chimes and doing his form of dancing any time he heard them. I felt free in and so relished the sweet, unscripted moments.

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We arrived home after work to find the package containing new shoes(!) I unwrapped them, Harrison sitting next to me, and I made a small big deal about how they were new shoes just for him. I sat him on the table so I could put them on for him ... and then I struggled to get his (beautiful) fat feet through the elastic opening and on his foot well. I persevered and he was patient with me and he eventually had both shoes on his feet. He went running off into the other room, and then came running back out, with a big smile on his face, staring down at his feet with those new shoes on. I took them off after about a half hour, and noticed the elastic had left a too-deep groove all around his ankles. 

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I think I was hoping Harrison's new shoes would bring everything full circle. He woke up yesterday morning with the puncture wound looking better, we had our idyllic last walk in his old shoes, the whole day felt zen-like. But we got home and I became concerned again about his cheek, and then his new shoes didn't fit, and I think I'm going to return them. 

So here I am, essentially (new) shoe-less and still worried about my baby's health. Not all hope is lost, and I have confidence for healing, but at the time of writing this, there is no pretty little package with a bow on top (if there were, I'm hopeful it would contain shoes that fit.) Here's to tomorrow, one day closer to the full-circle.